oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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