it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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