shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
