dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
