I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
