I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
