Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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