Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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