Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
