you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
