Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
