He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
