Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
