What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
