Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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