Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
there is glitter all over my balls
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