FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
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