he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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