There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
