I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
