it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
