everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
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does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
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don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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