I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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