Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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