yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
