Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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