i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
