last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
