Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
