apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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