So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
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Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
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I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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