I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
third nipple confirmed
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
