All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
