i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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