so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You did what with his pubic hair?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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