do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
