I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize