if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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