Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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