I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
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he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
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by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
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