wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize