yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
We left an ass print on the piano.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
