No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
