I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
