I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
