You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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