it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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