My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
