So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
