does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
