My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.