My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.