Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Randomize
