then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
