Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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