Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
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She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
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You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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