FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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