Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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