i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
